Some indications that you may well be a Redneck:
1. You’ve ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
2. The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
3. Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
4. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
5. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
6. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
7. You’ve ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
8. Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
9. Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
10. You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
11. Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
12. You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog.
13. You’re an expert on worm beds.
14. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
15. Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!”
16. Your family tree does not fork.
17. The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
18. There is a gun rack on your bicycle.